Last week I finished the column with this question: “What has been lost over the years concerning the mothers of yesteryear and what will the future look like for the mothers of tomorrow?”
I had also intended to write several stories I collected this past week, but again, room is limited. My goal was to find a person whose mother did something that had such a great influence in the life of her child that it has left a permanent lifelong impression, be it good or bad. Now if only my two brothers and I wrote about such an event, we three would still be writing her memoirs.
I know my mother wasn’t the perfect mom. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. I should know; I’ve been a parent for 50 years now. We fathers are prone to have our own faults too.
I looked up in the online dictionary and found a long list of personality adjectives — negative as well as positive — that would be quite appropriate in describing my mother. She lived, loved and enjoyed life, but most of all raised her three sons whom she always put first and maybe that is all that is needed to be said.
I have noticed something else that seems to be happening for a while now. We children don’t seem to reverence our mothers as much as we used to. In The Walton Tribune this past Mother’s Day I was informed that there was only one ad placed in the paper for Mother’s Day. But maybe it’s just the economy.
There was one guy I talked with who had quite a childhood. He relates to me that he was one of nine children in the family. We seem to have much in common in the realm of making our mothers wonder why we weren’t killed at an early age due to the shenanigans we young boys seem to find ourselves in. Such was the life of motherhood in an era before computers.
There is another mother that wrote me a note praising her mother: “My mother has always inspired me and what she taught me is to always remain positive and to never give up no matter what. Like right now I’m going to have to fight to keep my home through a divorce. My new best friend is and has always been God. I also know there is nothing wrong with having her great sense of humor and to learn how to get back up again after having such a great fall.”
That seems to be the emotion I found as I talked with several others where they gave credit to their mothers supporting them in hard times.
However, not all children, either adolescent or adult, will acknowledge their mothers as being worthy of some sort of praise. I know personally where there is estrangement between the mother and the adult child. Reconciliation couldn’t be achieved because of festereing wounds which could never be healed.
What causes this to happen? Only God knows the answer to that.
It has been said motherhood is probably the hardest job there is if one considers that it is a 24/7/365 vocation. I have read that not many millennials even want to consider taking on the job.
What will motherhood look like for my great-grandchildren in the future? Maybe we need first to understand motherhood is not a job or a vocation but an expression of love only mothers can comprehend.
Maybe it is something there’s no name for — except “motherhood,” which is its own category of effort, joy and agony.