I make you one promise that will hold true for the next 18 months and beyond, as we suffer together through the terrible national tragedy that is presidential campaign season: I will not announce my candidacy for president of the United States.
I’m sure you’re all relieved.
Even if I did, however, it would only a drop in the bucket in this crowded field of political highlights, and low-lifes, plus some also-rans and the occasional joke candidate.
Watch out for those joke candidates, though. Once upon a time we thought a washed-up reality show host and multiple bankrupt real estate developer was a joke and now he’s doing his best to spread that gag through the entire U.S. government from his office in the West Wing.
So, yes, if you pay attention to political news at all, you’re completely aware of the growing cacophony of the presidential race as more and more Democrats join the race leading into the first primaries next year.
I can count more than a dozen definite candidates off the top of my head, and that’s not including the people who keep hinting at a possible run but won’t commit as of yet.
Over on the Republican side, of course, there’s only one candidate, our incumbent president, Donald Trump. He has the advantage of running essentially unopposed as his party’s existing standard bearer, which might be more exciting for the party if they didn’t know 30 to 40 percent of the country’s electorate hate his guts.
But let’s be honest. We live in Walton County, home of red-blooded Americans who would rather the Georgia Bulldogs lose the next decade of games against Florida than ever vote for a Democrat. We don’t matter in this election.
No, Trump has his supporters, do or die, already wrapped up. Whoever the Dems manage to pick once the abattoir spits out a winner will have their support lined up ready to go.
It’s all about that 30 percent or so of undecideds in this race and our county is hardly that, so we can essentially just skip the campaigns and wait for Election Day.
There, I just saved you a year and a half of nonsense. You’re welcome.